You have come to the end of this Couple and Baby class. Congratulations! You have shown your desire to be the best dad and husband you can be. Keep it up! Here are just a few thoughts that I want to share with you to remember.
You are the God-given head of your family. That doesn’t mean you are the ‘boss’ of everything or that it is your fault if something goes awry. But it does mean that your leadership in your home is vital.
In order to be the spiritual head of your home, you must maintain your relationship with God. Don’t let busyness or distraction or exhaustion keep you from your walk with God. Lead your family in love of God and His Word. Make prayer and sharing from the Bible common in your conversations, mealtimes, and bedtimes. Start the day off with a praise song, even in the background, to center your family’s activities for the day. God will help you as your heart is open to Him.
Your relationship with your wife should be your primary concern. Love your wife, keep learning about her and what makes her tick. Find ways to help her in her responsibilities. A little praise, a little appreciation, a little thoughtfulness will go a very long way to keeping your marriage in good repair.
Too many men slip into silence when they are home and with their wife. Maybe they just hear too many words at work. Maybe they need some time to decompress when they get home. Perhaps what she has to say sounds trivial after the momentous events of the day. But you ignore her or shut her out at the peril of your marriage. Spend some quality time with your wife each day. During that time, let her know she is the center of your attention. Allow yourself to be influenced by what she says and what she thinks. Of course, you won’t be able to agree with everything, but let her know you are considering her point of view and care about her.
To be a good parent, you must spend time with your child. Take this seriously and find ways to enjoy your child, from infancy through adolescence and beyond. Play with your child, together with your wife, often. This helps to bind you together as a family. Eat meals together as often as possible. Make these times of connection, not correction. Enjoy each other.
As dad, you have so much to do with your child’s self-esteem and self-image. Your acceptance of your child is key to them. For little boys, they first begin to identify as male around 18 months of age. They recognize the difference between themselves and mom and their likeness to you as dad. He will try to mimic everything you do and say. This is normal and a necessary step in his gender identification.
Don’t be absent from him or ignore or reject him, especially between 18 months through 4 years. Even if your son has different interests and inclinations than you, don’t reject him or call him belittling names. Be a model of manliness. Find ways to connect with him and his interests. Art or cooking are not ‘sissy’ pursuits. The most famous sculptors and chefs were real men.
The way you treat your daughter will become her model of how she should be treated. She will not be easily mistreated or get into bad relationships in her teens if she had her dad model proper treatment of her and her mom. She will know what is proper touch and behavior. She will want to please you in the way she dresses and carries herself. Be sure to give her good feedback and encouragement.
Although you have finished, Couple and Baby Class, please keep in touch. My husband would be glad to email counsel or meet up with you. Or both of us would be happy to meet with you and your wife, if you need some extra help.
God bless and keep you and your marriage and your children!
Diane