Diane Constantine | Page 3 | sharing life lessons in words and art

Some Very Special Kids. . .

Diane August 5, 2023 No Comments

I had the privilege of spending a weekend with families who brought their one or two special needs kids (SNKs) for a retreat. My husband and I were there to speak to the parents a few times during the weekend. We wanted to encourage them and inspire them in their walk with God. But I think I got more from my time with them than they got from me.

One 6’2” young man, I’ll call him Asaph, was especially thoughtful of us. He wanted to know why we were there. When we said, “To talk,” he then asked, “When?” We told him the time for the meeting and how long before it would start. He drifted away for a few minutes and then returned to tell us we would talk at the time we had told him. We agreed and then he would go away for another few minutes. He repeated this every few minutes until the meeting.

Instead of getting frustrated with his constant questions and reminders, I found him so kind and thoughtful. He really wanted to hear what we had to say and he loved being able to remind us and make sure we knew where to go for the meetings.

Asaph is a real worshipper. Jesus said we must worship in spirit and in truth. This young man poured out his heart in worship every time we sang. He loved to sing at the top of his voice. Asaph could only remember the last word of each phrase, but he sang it with his whole being. How God must smile and love this young man’s fervor.

Many of the SNKs could not speak or had very limited vocabularies. When they had needs, someone must help them quickly so they wouldn’t get frustrated. Some of the children wandered away from their parents and then did not know how to find them again. Others would go toward something dangerous, totally oblivious to any threat. I saw all of the parents take responsibility for all of the children. This happened so much that I had difficulty pairing up the parents with their own SNKs.

I never heard any parent sound irritated or angry all weekend. I never once heard a comment like, “Why can’t they control that child?” There were no discouraging words spoken, only words of encouragement and blessing.

Not all the SNKs were likeable. One 15 year old girl had to be watched constantly. She began the weekend by reaching out for my husband’s hand as though to kiss it (in the Malay-style greeting) only to spit on his hand. She followed that with a slap. This all happened in about 5 seconds. Imagine having to care for her 24/7/365 for 15 years! Instead of judging her parents’ abilities to discipline, we had a great compassion for the burden they constantly carry to care for her.

During the second night there was a most terrific thunder and lightening storm. Everyone was roused at 2 am. No one could keep from gasping or crying out at the violence and brilliance of the storm. Some of the children cried the rest of the night from the fear. The rooms got quite hot as the electricity was knocked out, so no fans nor aircons could work.

The Sunday morning session needed to be a joint service with all the children and adults in an upper room chapel with benches. The SNKs were seated in the front rows and their parents behind. The battery-run P.A. popped, squealed, and either blared or didn’t work at all. The room was hot. Many had not slept most of the night. The conditions were ripe for total chaos.

To my amazement when I got up to speak, none of that bothered me. I had changed my message when I knew the children would be with us to something simpler and shorter. Some of the antics of a few of the children tickled my sense of humor and I found myself laughing. I did not have a drop of irritation or distraction. When I finished, I thought that no one could have heard what I said or would remember a word. But I was at peace. Whatever God wanted to teach through this, He would teach whether my words were right or heard or remembered.

Any of you who know me, know that public speaking is not my forte. I would not speak in groups for many years. Then when I would, it was only to small groups and with everything I was going to say written down on paper. In recent years I have spoken on Sunday morning in churches occasionally and in smaller meetings more frequently. But to change my message and to have so many distractions, was way, way beyond my comfort zone. But I came out of it feeling like God had helped me take a huge step into more freedom and usefulness. I don’t take any credit for what happened. It was all God’s grace.

I was given a painting John made when all the SNKs painted on Saturday. John offered to give his to me. We framed it this week and it is atop my file cabinet as a vivid reminder of all I learned and experienced among these special people!

There is not one thing in the world that I could have done last weekend I would have enjoyed as much as this retreat!

One of My Favorite Days

Diane July 29, 2023 No Comments

A few years ago I had a golden opportunity to spend a morning with Electrical Engineering students who wanted to practice conversational English.

We’ve talked to Mr. S and his wife several times when we eat breakfast at the same local coffee shop. Just after New Years, Mr. S told us he was going to a nearby university to help some students improve their spoken English. All of these students can read and write English, but they don’t have any one to practice with to hone their speaking. When he heard that I had taught ESL, he asked if I would go with him one morning and talk with his class. I was delighted to have this chance.

For four hours we talked. Before class, I talked briefly with each student and got to hear their names and what they are studying and why. It gave me a chance to assess their level of ability and for them to get used to my accent.

Mr. S asked me to start the class by giving them some of my background, work experience, and about our time in Malaysia. From that time on, they asked questions and I answered. I would ask them questions and they would answer.

How rich an experience!

It is not common for a foreigner, a Christian, and a woman old enough to be their grandma, to talk to Muslim, university students. It’s not that we wouldn’t like to, there just are very few opportunities.

They asked my opinions about Malaysia, its food, its culture, its progress as a nation. They wanted to know why I like Malaysia and what I don’t like. They wanted to know what I liked best about working as a NICU nurse. I was asked how would they know who to marry and what I thought was important to ensure a long lasting marriage. One girl asked what I do to stay healthy.

They told me about their families, what they want to do with the education they are receiving. They told me about their favorite music and movies.

There was such respect and interest on both sides of the discussion. I felt completely at ease and shared freely. I really stepped out of my box and out of my usual introvert personality. They took the chance to speak in English and realize a native English speaker could understand them and wanted to converse with them.

I will always treasure the memory of this day as one of my favorites in Malaysia.

Two Mint Plants

Diane July 14, 2023 No Comments

When I was a child my mother added a small spearmint plant to our garden. It was such a hardy plant and grew abundantly. It grew tall stalks. Its roots spread out and more stalks grew. If we let it, it would have taken over our whole garden.

All summer long we cut sprigs to flavor our iced tea and to give to friends and neighbors who also liked it. In the Fall is would shrivel and die and in the winter it would have snow piled deep on top of it. But when Spring came, it would always wake from its slumber and begin to send up bright green shoots.

Mint didn’t hide in our garden. Even when we were indoors and couldn’t see the plant, with a little breeze we could smell its lovely fragrance. I always loved our spearmint plant.

A few months ago, we found a small spearmint plant for sale. It reminded me of home, so I bought it. I don’t have a garden space, so I kept it in a pot on my back porch. It was growing such long spears that I kept cutting some every day. I couldn’t use it fast enough and I hated to throw away the long pieces I couldn’t use, so I put them in water. They grew tiny, fragile looking roots. When they were too big to keep in the little rooting jar, I planted them in another pot. I became quite attached to these two fragrant, green plants.

In my cool, rainy hometown, spearmint grew without a care. In pots, the hot tropical weather meant my spearmint needed to be watered every day. Sometimes rain comes from the right direction and my plants were watered by rain, but most days I needed to give them a cool drink.

When we were making a week long trip away from home I took my two spearmint plants down to my friend’s garden so they would get the nearly daily rain without anyone needing to tend to them.

Last night I got a message from my friend asking if I had come home early and collected my plants. No, I had not gotten my plants. Out of her whole garden there were only two plants missing. . .my two spearmint plants. I groaned. I was sad they were gone.

They weren’t valuable plants like old bonsai trees. They weren’t rare or unusual plants. Whoever took them, could have bought some from a garden shop inexpensively. But they had meaning to me and were worth more than their monetary value.

My first reaction was to be angry at the thief. Then I thought, their need must have been very great to steal a couple spearmint plants. Maybe they have never had anyone pray for them before. I pray that they will somehow meet Jesus through those plants.

God cares about us, even those of us who feel like we’re just garden-variety. The fragrance of His life in us can draw others to God. Be a loved fragrant herb and bring real joy to those around you today.

2Co 2:15-16 “For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. “

Trapped!

Diane July 7, 2023 No Comments

A few years ago we stopped at a tea shop high in the Malaysian mountains. The shop was closed, but they had a lovely terrace overlooking a tea plantation and some greenhouse buildings. We took some pictures and were enjoying the cool breeze and sunshine.

I went to a far corner of the terrace and saw a mynah bird hanging upside down from a potted plant. I thought, ‘Ugh, what kind of weird decoration is this?’

I called Mike over and he said, ‘It’s alive!’ When I looked again I could see it move. On closer inspection we saw that both its feet were wrapped with a string around a branch. How it must have struggled only to be more and more tied up! He definitely needed help or he would die. We had no knife to cut the string. Mike tried using a key to slide the string over his claws. Nothing was working and the poor bird was screaming like a crow.

We found a gardener nearby and pointed out the bird’s predicament. He went immediately and gently held the bird with one hand as he carefully picked the string with a pen knife. The bird kept screaming, but the gardener held it securely until every bit of the string was removed from both feet. When no string remained, he held the bird up and opened his hand. That unfettered bird flew at top speed with not even the slightest backwards glance.

We went away with a warm glow knowing one of God’s creatures was now safe. Mike said, ‘What a tale he will have to tell his family tonight!’

Psalms 124:7 – “We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped!”

How gently, but securely our Gardener holds us while he cuts us free of the fetters that kept us captive. We may yell and squirm, but He knows for our good He cannot let us go too soon.

He has a plan for good and not for evil, but we have to be set free from our snares first.

Have we seen someone caught in a snare, maybe even of their own doing? God may be asking us to help hold them, while He untangles them?

How gently and how securely we may hold that loved one or stranger in prayer and in friendship until God sets them free.

Not a Senior Moment

Diane June 29, 2023 No Comments

Note: This was written a number of years ago. But it seems so appropriate today.

Our favorite restaurant in our area is Jaipur. It has been owned and operated by one man and his sons for about 20 years. He’s had the same wonderful cook from India for over 17 years. The food is south Indian cuisine and the atmosphere is crowded, happy, Malaysian coffee shop.

We went to Jaipur this afternoon for lunch as we often do on Fridays. Fridays are special at Jaipur. There are a greater number of vegetarian choices. Then after the meal, they serve delicious, sweet, payasam with cashew nuts and sultana raisins. Oh, how worth the calories it is!

We parked our car about a block away and approached Jaipur. We noticed one shop was completely gutted and they were installing tile and painting inside. We stood there for a minute trying to remember what had been in that shop before. The hardware store was on one side and the Chinese medicine shop on the other. Now, we had passed this shop several times a week over our nine years eating at Jaipur.

When we couldn’t remember, we shrugged and went on for our yummy lunch. On the way back to our car, Mike stopped to answer a phone call. I wandered up to the new shop and looked in thinking I would see some clue to its former tenants. But no, no clues remained. When Mike continued to talk on his cell phone, I decided to ask the Chinese medicine shop keeper about their neighbor.

I laughed out loud and smacked my forehead when she said, “It was a bank.” Of course it was! That was our bank. We stopped there almost as often as we went to Jaipur. They had moved to a larger, newer lot a couple months ago, so we no longer linked our banking with that location.

How strange! When we see something out of place or so radically changed, we can forget it so quickly. Life goes on, changes occur all the time. Maybe this is an indication of how our minds cope with the fast pace of city life. It seems it only gets faster and faster.