This is no news. We all see the difference, but we may not realize the importance of the difference.
A dad looks, smells, sounds and acts differently than a mom. There are beneficial differences between moms and dads to the development of their children.
Dads are much more physically active with their children. They tickle, wrestle and throw theirs kids in the air. Moms use toys and talk to their children.
Dad’s style of play helps a child’s physical development and coordination. He teaches limits, like when enough is enough. They learn that biting and kicking are not acceptable. Dads encourage their kids to try harder and go faster which fosters independence and confidence in their own abilities.
Mom’s play helps her kids develop their language and communication skills. They learn social skills from her. She is usually more calm and quiet in play than dad. Kids have fun, but not the hilarity they may have with dad.
This diversity in approaches gives children a broad, rich experience in relating to others. Together they help their children remain safe while expanding their experiences and increasing their confidence.
Moms usually spend more time and are more involved with their children than dad. But dad’s time and style of play is vital to good development. Gottman says, “Rough and tumble play used by many dads can predict better self-control abilities in children. High energy, positive play can predict/effect how well a child will be viewed by other kids, and how well they will be accepted by their peers in school. The Gottman group found that the more emotionally involved a father was with his child at the age of four years, the more socially competent his child was at age eight!”
So dads, stay involved with your kids. Start when they are newborn and never stop having your time and playing with your kids.
Moms, make sure you allow dad to play with the kids — in his way. Encourage him to spend time with them. Just turn away if you can’t stand seeing him play rough and tumble. He loves his kids and won’t hurt them. Trust him.
Together make plans for times to play together with your children. Take turns leading the game and enjoy watching the way your kids thrive!