There is so much I’d like to say to you. I don’t know if you are a hyper-mom or you take everything in your stride. I don’t know what expectations you have about parenting. The last thing I want to do is add to your to-do lists. So, I’d like to give you just a bit of my philosophy of parenting. I hope this helps you.
Your faith in a Living God who cares for you and your husband and your child will give you the best possible foundation for parenting. Keep up your prayer life. There are so many things that we cannot know. Pray for yourself, your husband, your child. Pray about everything. Our loving Father will guide us, if we ask for His wisdom. He will help us have the right attitudes as we are open to Him through prayer and study of His Word. It can be very hard to find time for the kind of devotions you may have done pre-baby. He doesn’t require long times and great sacrifices. What He does want is an open heart and a willingness to follow His nudges and Word. Do what you can when you can and rest in Him.
You and your husband are a team in parenting your child. You each have strengths and weaknesses in your personalities and abilities. Let your husband’s strengths shine. Encourage your husband when he participates in parenting. Keep open communication with him about your child’s growth and needs. Let him do what you find hard to do with your child. Enjoy your child together.
You cannot possibly do everything you’ve heard ‘good’ mothers do! Don’t forget that. You are the mom that God gave to this child. You are the best mom this child has. You do the best you can and trust God with the rest. Of course there are things we can learn. There will be many ways we need to change over the days and years. But feeling guilty or inadequate or sub-standard, does not help! Ask for information or help whenever you need it. We all need help at different times. Get good advice, but don’t live under someone else’s standard.
Relax and enjoy your child! Whatever house chores don’t get done today, they will still be there to do tomorrow. Your child and your relationship with him or her is far more important than a spotless house or gourmet meals. Make learning fun and encourage exploration.
Be sure that any care-givers who help you, also love and enjoy your child. Strict disciplinarians or rigid schedule keepers are not the best people to mind your child. Make sure that your parenting philosophy is carried out by anyone else who cares for your child. Also be sure they are physically able to keep up with a growing child.
Finally, remember that you only have this child at home with you for a few years. (I know it will seem like they will never grow up and go out on their own. But, they will!) So, make sure you maintain your marital relationship. This relationship should long out-last your parenting years. If you don’t maintain it now, while your children are young, you won’t have a relationship in 20 years or so when they leave home. Children learn what marriage is about by watching you and your husband. They are NOT threatened by the time and attention you give to each other. They feel secure when they know you love and care for each other.
Although you have finished, Couple and Baby Class, please keep in touch with me. I love to counsel by email. If you would like to meet up with me, that can also be arranged with a little lead time to schedule.
God bless and keep you and your marriage and your children!
Diane