We are made in such a way that what normally happens around the birth of a baby causes mom, dad, and baby to be able to bond into a caring, nurturing family. As mom nears the end of pregnancy, most couples tend to keep in close contact, waiting for labor to begin. That nearness and contact begins the hormone surges. The desire of the parents to touch and hold their baby releases more hormones in all three of them. Ultimately having time and opportunity to feed, bathe, soothe, cuddle, look at, talk to, and play with baby will give all these powerful hormones the chance to rearrange their brains and bond them into a secure family.
When Dad is involved with his baby from as soon after birth as possible, he will have hormones of connection released to help him as a new parent. To read more about this fascinating way we are made, please read, Bonding and Brain Chemicals.
If Dad has been around mom during the last weeks of pregnancy even in the delivery room, baby will respond to Dad’s voice in preference to the doctor’s. Babies recognize their own dad’s voice, just as they recognize their mother’s. His deep voice is soothing to the baby.
Taking care of baby’s physical needs helps baby attach to dad and he gets a better idea of what is involved in baby care 24/7/365. His help gives mom some needed time to rest and heal. Dad and mom both gain confidence in his ability to handle his baby.
Dad can carry baby around in a sling or backpack. The rhythm of his movements soothes a fussy baby.
Here are some quotes from an article by Joshua A. Kirsch in Fatherly.com- October, 2017
“Until the 1960s, experts seldom encouraged dads to take part in parent groups, to participate during labor, or to care for infants. It was generally understood that dads existed to teach their toddlers to walk and their kids to play catch, not to handle baby — or, gasp, pre-baby — stuff. But the past few decades of research suggest that the earlier a dad gets involved, the better. “
Benefits for Baby
Research shows that babies whose dads were highly involved with them from infancy have great benefits over children whose dads were aloof or absent. The ‘Father Effect’ studies show the benefits for children whose dad was very involved with them during infancy and preschool years.
Here are just a few of those benefits that are well documented. These children:
- are more likely to be securely attached
- have higher cognitive functioning at six months
- are better problem solvers as toddlers
- have higher IQs by age three
- are more likely to be curious and explore their environment
- are better able to handle strange situation and are more resilient
- demonstrate a greater tolerance for stress and frustration
- are more playful, resourceful, skillful, and attentive when presented with a problem
Benefits for Dad
- He enjoys more secure attachment with their children
- He is more sensitive to his infant
- He is more confident and effective as a parent
- He finds parenting more satisfying
- He more comfortable in his occupation and does job well.
- He is more likely to feel happily married then and in twenty years after the birth of his first child.
More than Just Physical Presence
“Dads who live with their kids and take time out of their days to attend important events are far more likely to have a positive impact than absent fathers. But just because you’re around doesn’t mean you can rest on your laurels and hope that sitting near your children will somehow raise their IQs or inoculate them against risky sexual behaviors. ‘The quantity of interaction doesn’t really benefit kids, but if you have more high-quality, engaged parenting that does seem to be positively related to outcomes for children,’ Carlson says. Warmth is also a key factor. Fathers who spent a lot of time with their kids but are dismissive or insulting tend to have only negative impacts.”
It is important for dad to be warm and emotionally available to his child. Based on studies looking at a father’s emotional availability in comparison to the child’s eventual academic performance, kids whose fathers were present AND emotionally available to them did better and had higher verbal test scores. Further evidence for the importance of dads staying involved can be found in research showing that a father’s level of care-giving during an infant’s fist year predicts the infant’s IQ test scores. A father’s skills as a playmate at games like Peek-a-boo, ball toss, and bouncing, predict having more intellectually advanced children.
Be an involved dad and really influence your children. It is your most valuable contribution to your children’s well-being!