Scan the list of qualities or characteristics for ones you appreciate about your spouse. Choose three. Then think of a specific instance when you saw and appreciated one of those qualities in your spouse. Then it’s time to share with each other. Take turns being the speaker and listener.
- The speaker shares the characteristic they especially appreciate. In your own words share what this trait in your spouse means to you by recalling a particular instance where you observed this trait.
- The listener should let those words soak in. Believe them and savor them.
Practice this exercise from time to time until it becomes a natural part of your communication. As you get better at giving and receiving affirmation, broaden the scope of things you admire and ways your spouse pleases you.
Characteristics and qualities to admire: (Remember, this is just a beginning point. Feel free to share your own words of affirmation.)
- Organized
- Considerate
- Exciting
- Generous
- Caring
- Diligence
- Confident
- Joyful
- Creativity
- Practical
- Beautiful/Handsome
- Faithful
- Godly
- Conviction
- Safe
- Friendly
- Dependable
- Good Listener
- Respectful
- Thoughtful
- Leader
- Trustworthy
- Inspiring
- Take Time
- Insightful
- Loyal
- Provider
- Talented
- Good Cook
- Strong
- Willing to grow/change/develop
- Creative/Resourceful
- Hard worker
- Good Role Model
- Fixer
- Funny
- Good Lover
- Good Parent
The following are examples of ways to start your affirmation.
Affirmation of Husbands
- I’m glad you’re my friend
- I really appreciate . . .
- When you listened, I felt loved
- You’re so considerate
- You are a good leader
- You make me feel like a lady
- You’re an excellent provider
- When you hold me, I feel safe
- You’re so generous
- I trust you. . . or I trust your . . .
- I’m proud to be your wife
- You inspire me
- You’re a man of integrity
- You care how I feel
Affirmation of Wives
- I like spending time with you
- You bring out the best in me
- I value your insight
- I have confidence in you
- You’re so talented
- You bring me joy
- You’re beautiful inside and out
- You’re a good cook
- I love the home you’ve created
- I want to grow old with you
- Thank you for being so good to me
- I respect the woman you are
- You’re so thoughtful
- I admire your inner strength